I Really Like to Blog ... Day Planner Found!

I really do like to blog.  I like to layout the photos and the copy and go from there.  Perhaps I can credit this to being a yearbook editor in high school & college - or working for a newspaper during the summers.  Who knows - but I do like this format!

However I know that it is a bit in the past.  Most of the people I follow these days - use instagram, newsletters, or Substack.  I have a substack account too.  If I can figure out how to incorporate pictures within Substack - then I do not mind going over to that platform too.

I suspect that part of the choice is based on financial implications.  I do not think there is a way to have paid subscribers to this blog and while I am okay with that - there are several of my friends who want to be paid for their writing.  That is certainly I seek - mostly because it means I have a bunch of followers - but until that day - I am okay with just some of you reading my work!

So this is here - but I am going to try to post it across several platforms - we will see how it goes!

I lost my 2024 Day Planner.  I ordered it in December - I suspect in the middle of my mom's hospital stay and all of the things that went with that.  Up until today - I had looked for it everywhere.  Of course if you must know the truth - I have crap stacked in all kinds of places.  Mostly books - you surely know by now that I LOVE books.

Those books on the arm of the chair - were stacked beside my bedroom door.  I thought the day planner might be with the 3 stacks I had in that location - but I did not see the spiral bound planner.  However I knew those books needed to be put on the shelf.  I did not take time to actually put them in ABC order by author - but I moved the stacks to the library shelves.

And guess what .....

Fallen behind the stacks - and behind the box they were stacked upon and actually fallen into the living room below - albeit caught on the rock wall - was my planner.

There is a lesson here.  The lesson of not giving up - not moving past the goal.  In this case the goal was simply to find the planner.  I almost sat down today and ordered another copy.  But first I decided I would put up those 3 stacks of books.  I thought to myself that maybe I was just missing the spiral bound planner in the stacks - thought that moving them to a better place - might allow me to run across the planner.  

It did.  Not exactly like I had thought - but I found the planner and it is only January 17th - I have just missed a little bit of the month!!!

There are so many quotes for "keep going" - but my favorite of all time might just be the verse I featured on this blog long ago.

She did teach me about faith.  There is so much to say about my mom.  I will share those things as time goes - in little bits along the way.  Her faith was what one would say - so strong.  A strong faith.  A faith that kept her eyes on Jesus.  I never really said enough how proud I am to be her daughter.  Maybe something we don't think to say until the person who needs to hear it is gone.  But the blessings of being their adopted daughter will linger for years and years to come.  

And I will keep going - there are certainly more "planners" to find - more things to do.  Most of all - I will just keep on with whatever the task for today is.  Today - it was find that planner and decide what I need to do to accomplish the work this week - and make a list!  

Behind that scripture just might be one of my most favorite pictures of my mom.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

Construction Phase .....

Daddy,
Thank you for being God's Love.  Thank you for saying with each prayer - "Father thank you for loving us."  You taught me love in so many ways.  But you also taught me who God is.  Knowing that God is Love has proved my literal saving grace forever.  There are so many conversations I want to have with you today about God.  I think I need to hear your opinion.  But if I am honest- I already have - God's Love meant everything to you.  And it is how you treated others - you lived God's Love in all that you did. 


Sometimes we look and we cannot see things the way we might should.

The typical view that I would choose is the picture above.  This is out my front door - the one I go in and out all the time.  I think it is a beautiful picture.  I love the colors - the definitions - just really think it is pretty.

Same skyline - from a different vantage point - this time my side yard.  Typically Kerry feeds our dogs - today I did.  Or  maybe typically when I feed the dogs because I do that (not as much as him) I don't take time to look toward the western sky.  

And this close up view nearly took my breath away.

Same skyline - same home - same.

But yet not at all the same.

There is a God story in these pictures for me.  In the popular religious circles of today there is a word that is being used.  I think it has been around for about 5 - maybe 10 years.  This word of "reconstruction".  The time in life when one looks at what they believe - how they believe and decide to do something different with the knowledge.  

Look at the last bullet point ... an impression, model, or re-enactment of a past event formed from the available evidence.

That is where I am.  And while that definition is so incredibly vague to me - I think I can explain.  I am not sure that this is where others on this journey are - or if they would even agree with my interpretation of the reconstruction definition - but for me this is where I am .... today.

I am finding that while some things seem new - they are in fact really not.  I mentioned to Kerry last night that it almost aggravates me at times because I wonder why it has taken until 54 to figure some of this out.  He reminded me that I have learned a whole bunch of stuff about other areas of life as time has gone - why would this God journey be any different.

He is right.  I have always had somewhat of an impression that I should understand all the God stuff just perfectly - like right now.  That what I knew growing up should be what I know.  If it is God and I have to know God for all the things of life and the after life to fall into place- then surely I understand the God part in its entirety or at least enough to get where I surely want to go.

Good heavens.  Seriously - such a naive approach to life.  

Of course God is not something for me to completely understand and figure out completely today - or yesterday and probably not tomorrow either.  But I can go back to my original viewpoint and see.  I can look to the same spot from a slightly different vantage point - but yet still be in truth and see new.

I was still in my home.  I was still Cheryl looking at the western skyline.  The foundation was the same - I just took a different vantage point.  But the western skyline was still the western skyline.

This is what is happening to me right now.  

My foundation was formed a long time ago.  I suspect it was formed as she carried me from Florida to Tennessee back to Texas before I was born.  Then they carried me throughout Texas and raised me almost exactly how she would have raised me.  I have learned about the birth family and to use an expression of old - they are a "God fearing" family.  The messages I have received about my grandparents - the stories that are told all show their foundation in God's Love.  Her life is also an example of God's Love.  She is still today a living breathing evidence of God's Love.  

The same is true for the couple who raised me - my parents.  Everyday of my life I knew of God's Love.  I felt love - I lived in love.

And so Love is taking me on this journey to examine what I believe to be true about God.  Jesus is guiding the path - I am looking at what I know to be true - the foundation - but I am also looking to God from all kinds of vantage points.  The foundation has not changed.  The views to see him are multiplying. 

That was the message in 1989 - the other side is below and hangs on my kitchen wall today ...

Continue reading I John 4 - it is a wonderful chapter about God's Love.

"Dear friends, if God loved us this way, we ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God.  If we love each other, God remains in us and his love is made perfect in us." 4:11-12, CEB.

Growing up in that wonderful church in Perrin - we used to sing a song ....

There is no fear in love - but a perfect love casteth out all fear.

For fear hath torment and he that feareth is not made perfect in love.

We love him because he first loved us and I will not be silent.

I will praise his name forever - for my God is Love.  

God is Love.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

0 until ..... 7 Days of Grace

7 Days of Grace

Today I’m in Tennessee

Flight delayed. But that’s okay. I’ve waited a lifetime & a few minutes won’t change the wonderful experience this is.

Lets go back to Esther - please read her story or find an audio.

After Mordecai tells Esther that this is probably her time to make a difference. Esther then sends word to him & lays out the plan. She says “even though it’s against the law - I will go to the king.”

Even though the file is sealed. I’ll have it opened.

Even though ...

Part of this journey is realizing my worth. Before my evangelical friends worry about me - I get it. I’m a child of God. I am a beautiful wonderful child of God. But sometimes that seems a bit hard to touch. So for me I identified as their daughter - his wife - their mom - their Mimi. I was a teacher - a principal etc ...

Why do I need to be anything else?

Right after we solved the mystery - I said “what am I thinking - why do I need / want / have any place to identity as a Witt.”  It hurt. Really hurt. I felt unworthy. And it had nothing to do with the actions of my birth mother. It was me. Somewhere in the depths of this soul - I just didn’t know how to feel and what to do with those feelings.

Richard Rohr said:

Sooner or later, if you are on any classic “spiritual schedule,” some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life with which you simply cannot cope using your present skill set, acquired knowledge, or willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point, you will stumble over a necessary “stumbling stone” (see Isaiah 8:14). You must “lose” at something, and then you begin to develop the art of losing. This is the only way that Life/Fate/God/Grace/Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey.

There it is - I didn’t have the skill set but I had been working on strengthening this heart of mine to open completely and just love.

Something in you dies when you bear the unbearable. And it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees and to love as God loves. —Ram Das 


What a grand adventure I am on. Oh and that Witt family? From the moment that the first one found me - there has been a constant stream of Love - Joy - Welcoming. Each one. Each time. 

Do they - does this new family of mine - realize how much they are loved? Do they know how much Love I have to give? 

They do. They know. She knows. 

She knows. 

I found her. And today - I have found me.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

1 until .... 7 Days of Grace

I read all the time.  Literally.  I have at least one book that is a hard copy book and then I have at least one I am listening to in the car.  Most all of my books at this point in my life have to do with God - Jesus - and mostly about getting away from "religion" and finding God.

How in the world have I missed The Alchemist?

Needless to say - I am getting a copy of the book.

Tomorrow I will see her.

Seriously - I have waited a lifetime.

I can remember looking through a "picture book" when I was taking piano lessons - studying all the "famous" people and figuring out which one could be my birth mother.  - Raquel Welch.  That was my guess.  

Around age 15 - because I can remember which house I lived in - I found my birth certificate.  I carefully opened it - thinking that I would find names.  Adopted kids in 1964 - have their adopted parents names.  

Kerry tells me that I always thought Dolly Parton could be my mother.  Until a certain surgery in 2002 (I think) - we had physical features quite the same.  Rather ironic that my birth family are from Tennessee ...

There is also Barbra Streisand - If you cover my face to only see my eyes - they are pretty much the same as hers. 

Every single birthday.  Since I can remember I have thought about her on my birthday.  You have heard me lament about my birth - day before.  I won't carry on here - but I found comfort and sadness in knowing that there really was one other person who cared about that day.

When Son One was born I struggled.  Just for a short period of time (really short - who has time to worry about self when you have a newborn?)  That struggle did not last.  I am glad I had it - because at least I feel like I looked at the reality of being adopted and what that meant.  

2006 - I requested the protected adoption file.  I was glad to have some information and as it turned out - that information proved to be exceptionally valuable this year.  But back in 2006 - I was sad all over again.  I loved finding my crib name - Greta.  But the bold  statement of Your record does not include any updated contact by a birthparent was almost devastating.  I felt like she just did not want anything to do with me. (It wasn't that black and white - but I did not know that at the time.)

2006 - 2018 birthdays - primarily- that is when I would think of her the most.  At some point I started writing things on social media - thinking maybe she would be searching and find me.  

In December of 2018 - my cousins - who are both adopted told me about securing a court order to get my original birth certificate.  I started contemplating if that was a good idea. Later that month - my nephew suggested AncestryDNA and told me I would certainly have some connections with some people.  

You know the rest.

The best part of the journey?  I am so thankful that I did not go the route of birth certificate - first.  I have really enjoyed the ancestral route.  I still feel the same excitement knowing that one of my ancestors fought in the American Revolutionary War - knowing I can trace all their names - their children - their birth years and their deaths.  That I can walk on that same ground in the mountains of Tennessee.  A place I have never been - but yet - it is a place that I have been.

Barbra Streisand's recording of "On Holy Ground" is breathtaking.  I have had that CD for 20 years.

Kerry has always been a nature person.  Me - not so much.  But when I started realizing that my ancestral roots can be traced to specific locations in the Tennessee mountains - all I have wanted to do is stand on that ground - literally - stand.  I may even take my shoes off.

Thank you so much for joining me this week.  It has been my joy to write and my joy to hear from you.  I so LOVE people.  Knowing people is literally my hobby in life (oh and reading too!).   

And oh how I love you.  Each and every single one of you.  If I can ever support you in an endeavor - just ask.  You can find me here - find me on Facebook - find me on Instagram.  And should you ever show up on Possum Kingdom Lake - you can find me there too.  

These 3 make all the difference for this Mimi - her great grandchildren.  This was taken at Christmas - that baby is so much bigger now!!!  And that Pop of theirs is the best friend anyone could ever have. 

But for this one ....  this has been her journey.

7 Days of Grace

1 day until I am in Tennessee

1 little girl

1 to Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

2 until .... 7 Days of Grace

Do you know yourself?

I mean truly know yourself?

Perhaps I am getting closer.  I do know that for most of my life - certainly from the age of about 5 until about 40 - I thought I did but I let so many outside things influence my life.  Some for the good but so many helped me deny myself.

It truly is 2 days until I see my birth mother.  That all changed yesterday and it is just fine.  Back to the original plan - arrive Sunday - go to Lynchburg - then to Chattanooga.

2
Two women who have been a part of these 54 years.  Two women who live in different worlds with this one connecting person.  Two women - one I know quite well and the other not so much.  One sewed clothes for me, cooked meals, ran me to sporting events, taught me how to sew, taught me how to cook, provided a way for piano lessons - and you know this list could go on and on.  My mother (DJ) has been and continues to be a monumental force in my life.

Perhaps most importantly is what she and my dad did every single day, every single moment - they taught, showed, gave and experienced Love.

One of my favorite pictures of me & my parents.  This was taken several years ago - but I just love it.  I am sure I don't look any older!!!

I hope she has pictures with her parents.  I hope I see every picture that was ever taken of her when she was growing up - when she was living that life apart from me.  I just cannot wait to see her.

Seeing her does not take away for one moment - anything those 2 did for me.

It comes full circle.

It began in 1933.  That was the year he was born.  And he shouldn't have lived.  He had a surgery every year of his life until he was in his 20s.  He had so many medical issues.  However - most everyone had no idea.  At his memorial service - in the town he lived for 40+ years - the person who spoke said "I had no idea".  My dad kept his health as a private issue.  My dad knew all of his life that he would not be able to have children.

They meet - they marry - they decide to adopt.  His parents weren't so keen on the idea.  I know my grandparents were clueless about adoption but early on they said some hurtful things about that baby. I do believe though that they soon realized that as much as you want to think that baby isn't a part of your family - she is in fact - your family.

In the meantime - there is a birth mother that is making what assuredly was the most difficult decision of her life.  But that decision - allowed that man & woman to have a baby.

Now it is that man & woman who nurtured a baby into this woman who can find that mother.

Full circle.  She loved. They loved. She loved. 

Birth mother loved and she gave.  Adopted parents loved & loved.  Because of love I could go on the journey to find her.

Love matters.  It really does.  So many of our life journeys require love.  Heavens - all of life requires Love.  But true love creates vulnerability.  And that is where most of us lose ground.

There are 2 men in my life that have really helped to encourage this Love of self journey.  Last summer I went to help a friend at his vineyard.  I went 6+ hours from home - alone.  It was one of the craziest things I have ever done by myself. And it was one of the very best.  I came home with a whole new level of courage that I had not had before.  The next was a person I met on a plane.  On that plane ride I had to share stuff that I was thinking.  I had never shared those things before - and when I did - we both ended up in tears.  Again - being vulnerable.  Being open to others - for others - with others.  Those 2 are forever dear friends - they helped me find myself again.

They helped me define Love to myself - once more - this time with confidence and assurance.

While all of my life has led me to this point - the journey had some very specific steps over the last year or so.  Next week when life might slow down just a little - I will share those steps.  I believe that learning about Love on a level never found before is the key to whatever is needed.  Richard Rohr's work has certainly helped me a great deal.  He is worth reading and finding.  And if you are like me you will stay confused most of the time because his language is unreal - but oh so good for the soul.


2 women - oh how thankful I am that they are both on earth today for me to Love in person.

I found her.  I really did.  I found my birth mother.  My mother (DJ) is so happy for all 3 of us!!!

7 Days of Grace

2 days until I am in Tennessee

2 women of Love

2 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

3 until ... 7 Days of Grace

I sure never had any idea where I would be (exactly)  3 weeks after this picture.

It is not the best picture of me - but it is accurate.  The smile - the shirt - the joy!!!

It was 3 weeks ago that the phone rang, I looked at my watch - saw where the number was from and answered the call.

Do you remember that I have a doctorate in education?  That is how I signed my name - Dr. Cheryl Cannon Groves on her card.  I wanted to do that for lots of reasons.  Every single word that I wrote on that card was thought out - planned - shared for specific purposes.  I wanted her to know that I am not some person coming to look for anything.

I am a person looking for her.

During the whole "finding your birth parents" journey - more than one person will ask you why are you doing that.  I have answered that question so many times.  But it is DJ who knows the answer best.  She has told me over and over these last 6 weeks or so - Cheryl - you just always wanted to know.

So why?

Just to know Her.  It has been a missing piece that I simply cannot explain.  I don't know if every adopted kid has this feeling - but I do and I suspect I will - until Day 3 becomes the Day.  (It is important to note that "why" has never been my end game - today "why" only matters if she needs to share - "why" does not matter to me.)

My Mother and My Daughter in Law

My daughter in law is just amazing.  She works 3 days a week with us - and yesterday she helped make a beautiful thing happen.

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them."

I lead a ladies bible study class on Wednesday nights at my church.  I have done this off and mostly on for years.  We have the best time - and some come and go, some come and stay, but there are a couple who just really - really "get" me.  One of those - gathered my family together and with my friends from class last night - they all prayed over me.  It was the most amazing experience.

My friend is on the floor saying the most beautiful prayer - Remember how we talked about that vulnerable part yesterday?  This kind of experience is often times vulnerable for me.  Usually I find that I completely lose it and cry and cry (and therefore - not really going to participate in that so much!)

Not last night.  It gave me the best calming feeling - ever.  Total Peace.  My friends are truly gathering in His name to call Him to be in our midst.  To call on Him.  To thank him for my Mother & Father for raising me in such a way that allows me to even embark on this journey.  

Cannon, Me, Kambrey, DJ, Kain

3 of the most precious grandkids and great grandkids of DJ.  My grandchildren bring so much joy to my life and to DJ's.  

I have 3 boys - she now has 3 children.  

That phone call just 3 weeks ago was the beginning of a life time.  I was prepared to never hear from her because let's be honest - this is a whole bunch to process for a person.  She never - just like me - never expected to be able to connect.   But it was important for me to find out some particular information.  I needed to know - does her family cheer for Alabama or Auburn?  Because while it is not a complete deal breaker - we might just have to work on not seeing each other in the fall.

I am almost kidding.  Remember - that Alabama/Auburn thing seems even greater than the Texas/Texas A&M thing.  So it is important.

All good - roll tide!  My new family even have direct connections to the University of Alabama - those connections to be shared in the midst of football season.  But how much fun to finally be able to tell my Texas friends that not only did Son One live in Alabama and learned to love the University.  But my family have always been Alabama fans - and I am too!

What a journey.  What fun.  What a vulnerable Grace.

7 Days of Grace

3 (maybe 2) days until I am in Tennessee

3 weeks ago

3 to Love

My dear friend Stacy - who organized the prayer circle.  What a joy to know her!!!

My shirt for today ...
 "She was powerful not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly despite the fear. ~ Atticus" 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.