Birds of the air

As a young girl I decided that I did not like birds.  And as I sit on my back patio writing – I am just about to get scared!  There is a noisy bird coming fairly close to me – within 10 feet and if I am honest it just makes me nervous!

Oh she is loud – not sure why I assume she.  While I have zero understanding of bird language and how they communicate – she seems to be trying to get the attention of another bird.  Or maybe me …

Then on the far side of the porch – just behind our couch is a flock of several kind of dove.  They are much bigger than my friend over on this side – but when they fly – they create quite the stir too. 

It is cool this morning – 70 degrees – and I decided to join the birds, trees, sun and my backyard.

As that young girl – birds scared me – I don’t remember the exact time that began but my mother tells me that I walked into a house in Dallas with her and my dad to visit friends  - right by a talking bird that said something to me and I never wanted to leave my mother's side that day.  Just recently I decided to enjoy the birds in my back yard.  Kerry feeds the birds sunflower seeds (and I sweep them off the patio) – and we have 3 bird feeders.   But if they get too close – I can summon that young girl pretty quick and want to leave the situation.

Pain isn’t a welcomed experience for anyone.  However for some of us we will move heaven and earth to avoid it.  (if you are a student of the enneagram you might recognize the basic fear of a 7).  I am that person who will at all possible – avoid pain and I appreciate it when you allow me to help you avoid pain.  And these birds represented pain for me as a young child – that fear that must have gripped my body – I never wanted to experience that again.  

With the ability to avoid pain at all costs – I can also sincerely find Joy and Hope in almost every situation.  But sometimes I miss the lament.

Lament.  Lament is often used in religious settings  - but not the religion I grew up in.  I never heard that word at all.  It wasn’t until recently that I even used the word or considered the value – necessity – and certain joy that could be found in lamenting.  

Yes I said joy.  See how good I am at that?  But for me – if you are going to suggest that I must endure some pain and sorrow – I am going to find something good.  And let’s be honest – there is a bunch of good in this world.

Back to birds.  They are beautiful in the back yard – but their evidence of life on my patio isn’t so pretty!  With the beauty and wonder of the bird – comes the crap (I really wanted to use the other word) they leave to see too.  I cannot alter either part of this wonder.  I cannot change the birds – I really cannot keep the crap from showing up.  It just all belongs. (please read Richard Rohr sometime – his work can be life changing)

If I just lament for a moment – there are so many things I can think about – so many things I can ponder.  The last couple of weeks in our home have been new, different, life changing, happy, sad, certainly some crap in diapers, and most of all Hope and Joy.

For when a baby is born – mankind is given new life.

I think I will tell that young Cheryl that it is okay to be scared – it is okay to stand by your mom all day – but if you really want to experience that Hope and Joy that you love so much – go sit with that damn talking bird.  

I almost got up at the beginning of this writing.  Really.  That bird that was so loud and so close and really bothered me.  I kept thinking about that it might come closer – fly by me – but I just decided to stay.  Now I feel and see the sun rising and filling the patio with a beautiful light.  

Peace is an inside job.  And sitting with the damn talking bird is part of finding that peace.  

Lament is not a failure of faith, but an act of faith. We cry out directly to God because deep down we know that our relationship with God counts; it counts to us and it counts to God.   ~  Michael D. Guinan, OFM, is a professor of Old Testament, Semitic languages and biblical spirituality at the Franciscan School of Theology in Berkeley, California

To learn more about Lament – this article from Franciscan Media is quite good.  

Winnie Louise Groves ~ Birthday July 21, 2020

2 of Winnie's cousins - they love her

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.