Free Indeed

“I am chosen - not forsaken - I am who you say I am .... Who the Son sets free oh is free indeed”

A couple of weeks ago we had the amazing opportunity to witness 2 baptisms. And one of them left my son embracing his wife. It was one of my most favorite memories ever. 

I gave Daughter One a card that day. Here is my thought on baptism ... “Baptism is something you will always remember - it is one act in this God centered life that helps us think about & be reminded to pattern our lives after Jesus.”

We probably view baptism differently than each other. I am so completely okay with that. But sometimes we get so caught up in our own personal beliefs that we miss Hebrews 12:15.  

I believe that’s our biggest challenge. We are passionate & convicted of our beliefs but we cannot force or expect that for others.  In each of our lives we will hear and respond to God.  But in each response - it is a personal response. I am a child of God because God says I am. 

I’m a child of God because The Divine says I am. 

There’s not a rule book - not a requirement list - not a certain church - certain belief. You may believe that those things are important & necessary. I Love being around you - I love listening to your convictions - I love knowing the story of your life. But I want you to value the same in me. Don’t just love me because you think I agree with you. Love me for whatever I believe as I am doing for you. And yes I know - it’s not easy and both of us will be wrong at times. 

“You’re a child of God - you were chosen not forsaken God is for you not against you”

The lyrics of the song are based on John 8:36. Have you read John 8 lately? Oh my heavens - I feel like I’m reading a back & forth discussion that gets no where. For me I am not questioning Jesus at all - I really am free. 

But that’s the way this life is - messy and back & forth. But Love wins. We know that. I hope for the times when that knowledge of Love & who we are reminds us how to live this God centered life. In the end - we must be sure that no one misses out on grace. 

My friend Neal said to me today “We’re pretty serious about the love stuff” - we all should be - we can all LOVE BETTER. 

Yes we can.

Story behind "Who You Say I Am"

Who You Say I Am Lyrics & Song

Photo One Cred:  Me!  Taken near the Hiwassee River near the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee - the home of my soul.



Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

1 until .... 7 Days of Grace

I read all the time.  Literally.  I have at least one book that is a hard copy book and then I have at least one I am listening to in the car.  Most all of my books at this point in my life have to do with God - Jesus - and mostly about getting away from "religion" and finding God.

How in the world have I missed The Alchemist?

Needless to say - I am getting a copy of the book.

Tomorrow I will see her.

Seriously - I have waited a lifetime.

I can remember looking through a "picture book" when I was taking piano lessons - studying all the "famous" people and figuring out which one could be my birth mother.  - Raquel Welch.  That was my guess.  

Around age 15 - because I can remember which house I lived in - I found my birth certificate.  I carefully opened it - thinking that I would find names.  Adopted kids in 1964 - have their adopted parents names.  

Kerry tells me that I always thought Dolly Parton could be my mother.  Until a certain surgery in 2002 (I think) - we had physical features quite the same.  Rather ironic that my birth family are from Tennessee ...

There is also Barbra Streisand - If you cover my face to only see my eyes - they are pretty much the same as hers. 

Every single birthday.  Since I can remember I have thought about her on my birthday.  You have heard me lament about my birth - day before.  I won't carry on here - but I found comfort and sadness in knowing that there really was one other person who cared about that day.

When Son One was born I struggled.  Just for a short period of time (really short - who has time to worry about self when you have a newborn?)  That struggle did not last.  I am glad I had it - because at least I feel like I looked at the reality of being adopted and what that meant.  

2006 - I requested the protected adoption file.  I was glad to have some information and as it turned out - that information proved to be exceptionally valuable this year.  But back in 2006 - I was sad all over again.  I loved finding my crib name - Greta.  But the bold  statement of Your record does not include any updated contact by a birthparent was almost devastating.  I felt like she just did not want anything to do with me. (It wasn't that black and white - but I did not know that at the time.)

2006 - 2018 birthdays - primarily- that is when I would think of her the most.  At some point I started writing things on social media - thinking maybe she would be searching and find me.  

In December of 2018 - my cousins - who are both adopted told me about securing a court order to get my original birth certificate.  I started contemplating if that was a good idea. Later that month - my nephew suggested AncestryDNA and told me I would certainly have some connections with some people.  

You know the rest.

The best part of the journey?  I am so thankful that I did not go the route of birth certificate - first.  I have really enjoyed the ancestral route.  I still feel the same excitement knowing that one of my ancestors fought in the American Revolutionary War - knowing I can trace all their names - their children - their birth years and their deaths.  That I can walk on that same ground in the mountains of Tennessee.  A place I have never been - but yet - it is a place that I have been.

Barbra Streisand's recording of "On Holy Ground" is breathtaking.  I have had that CD for 20 years.

Kerry has always been a nature person.  Me - not so much.  But when I started realizing that my ancestral roots can be traced to specific locations in the Tennessee mountains - all I have wanted to do is stand on that ground - literally - stand.  I may even take my shoes off.

Thank you so much for joining me this week.  It has been my joy to write and my joy to hear from you.  I so LOVE people.  Knowing people is literally my hobby in life (oh and reading too!).   

And oh how I love you.  Each and every single one of you.  If I can ever support you in an endeavor - just ask.  You can find me here - find me on Facebook - find me on Instagram.  And should you ever show up on Possum Kingdom Lake - you can find me there too.  

These 3 make all the difference for this Mimi - her great grandchildren.  This was taken at Christmas - that baby is so much bigger now!!!  And that Pop of theirs is the best friend anyone could ever have. 

But for this one ....  this has been her journey.

7 Days of Grace

1 day until I am in Tennessee

1 little girl

1 to Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

3 until ... 7 Days of Grace

I sure never had any idea where I would be (exactly)  3 weeks after this picture.

It is not the best picture of me - but it is accurate.  The smile - the shirt - the joy!!!

It was 3 weeks ago that the phone rang, I looked at my watch - saw where the number was from and answered the call.

Do you remember that I have a doctorate in education?  That is how I signed my name - Dr. Cheryl Cannon Groves on her card.  I wanted to do that for lots of reasons.  Every single word that I wrote on that card was thought out - planned - shared for specific purposes.  I wanted her to know that I am not some person coming to look for anything.

I am a person looking for her.

During the whole "finding your birth parents" journey - more than one person will ask you why are you doing that.  I have answered that question so many times.  But it is DJ who knows the answer best.  She has told me over and over these last 6 weeks or so - Cheryl - you just always wanted to know.

So why?

Just to know Her.  It has been a missing piece that I simply cannot explain.  I don't know if every adopted kid has this feeling - but I do and I suspect I will - until Day 3 becomes the Day.  (It is important to note that "why" has never been my end game - today "why" only matters if she needs to share - "why" does not matter to me.)

My Mother and My Daughter in Law

My daughter in law is just amazing.  She works 3 days a week with us - and yesterday she helped make a beautiful thing happen.

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them."

I lead a ladies bible study class on Wednesday nights at my church.  I have done this off and mostly on for years.  We have the best time - and some come and go, some come and stay, but there are a couple who just really - really "get" me.  One of those - gathered my family together and with my friends from class last night - they all prayed over me.  It was the most amazing experience.

My friend is on the floor saying the most beautiful prayer - Remember how we talked about that vulnerable part yesterday?  This kind of experience is often times vulnerable for me.  Usually I find that I completely lose it and cry and cry (and therefore - not really going to participate in that so much!)

Not last night.  It gave me the best calming feeling - ever.  Total Peace.  My friends are truly gathering in His name to call Him to be in our midst.  To call on Him.  To thank him for my Mother & Father for raising me in such a way that allows me to even embark on this journey.  

Cannon, Me, Kambrey, DJ, Kain

3 of the most precious grandkids and great grandkids of DJ.  My grandchildren bring so much joy to my life and to DJ's.  

I have 3 boys - she now has 3 children.  

That phone call just 3 weeks ago was the beginning of a life time.  I was prepared to never hear from her because let's be honest - this is a whole bunch to process for a person.  She never - just like me - never expected to be able to connect.   But it was important for me to find out some particular information.  I needed to know - does her family cheer for Alabama or Auburn?  Because while it is not a complete deal breaker - we might just have to work on not seeing each other in the fall.

I am almost kidding.  Remember - that Alabama/Auburn thing seems even greater than the Texas/Texas A&M thing.  So it is important.

All good - roll tide!  My new family even have direct connections to the University of Alabama - those connections to be shared in the midst of football season.  But how much fun to finally be able to tell my Texas friends that not only did Son One live in Alabama and learned to love the University.  But my family have always been Alabama fans - and I am too!

What a journey.  What fun.  What a vulnerable Grace.

7 Days of Grace

3 (maybe 2) days until I am in Tennessee

3 weeks ago

3 to Love

My dear friend Stacy - who organized the prayer circle.  What a joy to know her!!!

My shirt for today ...
 "She was powerful not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly despite the fear. ~ Atticus" 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

5 until .... 7 Days of Grace

What is an elder of a church?  Titus in the Bible shared that an elder should:

Show hospitality, love what is good, and be reasonable, ethical, godly, and self - controlled.

My husband is an elder in our church.  He hasn't always been an elder and he hasn't always been interested in this birth family journey.  But I must say - his wisdom is priceless.  His ability to love what is good is a driving force in our family.  And the support and detective work this man has done has made the difference.

One of my favorite pictures of us - taken in September 2018

A goal he has had for his role as an elder is to have people in our home.  That is exactly what we have done - we have invited people to our home for dinner.  We try to do this once at least every 2 weeks.  We have about 40 church members that are identified as part of Kerry's group.  On March 7th - we had

5
church members in our home.

You need the background story ....

After Kerry was willing to bet the safe - I really needed confirmation.  So I got a court order from the Dallas county court to unseal my adoption file.  This file would have my birth parents names.

After getting the court order - I was required by Texas law to meet with an adoption counselor for an hour. Then all the requirements are met and I will receive my file about a week later.  During that meeting I requested that I be given my birth parents' names.  I explained that I believed that we had in fact found the birth mother - but before I jumped out and did what I wanted to do - I needed the final confirmation.  (evidently a gun safe isn't enough for me ...)

Remember March 6?  I wanted to send her a birthday card for her birthday.  I needed confirmation before I disrupted a world!!! And confirmation I received .....  So on Monday, March 4th - I mailed a birthday card.

It is important to note that I did not have ANY recent information about my Mother.  In our internet detective work we found that she had residence in this place in 2016 - but we really did not have anything since the 2016.  Since I had recently experienced a medical situation with my Mom and I knew that many times family members open mail - I wanted to leave this enough generic that if someone else opened the card - it really would not matter.

Please note my birthday at the bottom of the card.  

I honestly expected that it would be months - if not longer before I heard from her.  My prayer was to not get the card returned in the mail.  So on Thursday March 7th when we had 5 church friends at our home and my phone rings - I look where the call is from - glance at Kerry and tell him that I have to take the call - I have never been more thrilled and surprised all in one evening.

Oh  my word.  I left Kerry and the guests to get the food to the table (Kerry missed the mashed potatoes - we had to come back to those - and Tennessee family - do you say "mashed potatoes" or "creamed potatoes"???) - Kerry and the guests - got the food and sat down to eat.

I was in the driveway talking.  Heaven knows cell phones do not work in our home.  We talked for over 30 minutes and I am sure I cried pretty much the entire way through the conversation.

I never can recall a story in order.  Never.  And this time I really cannot either.  But it was maybe the best conversation of my life.

Upon reflection - here are some things that are coming together for this 5th day of Grace:

The description at the beginning of the chapter says:   A pilgrimage song.  

My mom (DJ, Jeanette) is the best role model for any mother of an adopted child.  Seriously - many could learn from her.  She always knew that I needed to know that I was adopted - always told me.  And for as long as I could remember she told me that if I wanted to find my birth family - it would be with her blessing.  I think I now understand that why as a young girl growing up in church that Romans 8:28 was my verse.  

Last night Her son (my 1/2 brother) talked to my mom.  He told her thank you.  It was perhaps the most amazing conversation I have ever listened to.  It was beautiful.  My mom is so thankful for the Love she is being shown.  

As unusual as all of this - here is my suggestion.  Just read and roll along.  We are on really new ground.  I know there are other adopted - birth family stories but I have never read any of them.  For me it is about telling our story and honoring 2 amazing women in my life.  

And this blog is about me.  As hard as that is to write because I pretty much never do things with me as the central focus.  

My dad left earth in July of 2016.  He was my cheerleader.  Really he was. It still makes my eyes sweat to think of him gone.  And he would have loved this journey.  He would have been so happy for me.  If I would have asked him at the beginning what he thought - he would have said "Have you prayed about it?" Before it was a trendy thing to do - my dad was asking "what would Jesus want you to do?".

When my dad left - we wanted their gravesite to be one that represented who they were - so we chose to add scriptures.  My dad's is John 3:16 - always his go to verse. 

I always loved the verse my mom chose for her side.  I thought it was meaningful and I love hearing her recite it in the King James Version.   I certainly never imagined where her pilgrimage would take me.  Funny - the version I chose for the scripture below uses the word "mountains" - She wants to see the mountains too - I hope I have the chance to take her one day.

I am slowly but surely figuring out that both of my families have leaned on that understanding in Jesus.  

What a wonderful story to have.

7 Days of Grace

5 days until I am in Tennessee

5 church friends

4 to Love

That is NOT a typo.

I moved the flight up a day.

I will SEE Her on Saturday!  

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

7 Until .... 7 Days of Grace

I have found my birth mother.

Let me say that again.

I have found my birth mother.

I actually figured it out a little over a month ago and the last few weeks we have spent connecting - and she has had to figure out how to maneuver through her family.

Her Family.

Oh my word... And My Family.

When I really began trying to figure out which of my birth parents was connected to the Witt Family - we searched records and records and records on the Ancestry website, the Find a Grave website, and just about anywhere else we could think of.

I got pretty descent at recognizing names, dates, and figuring out how they fit together.

7

I found - seven generations:

7 - My Birth Mother
6 - My Grandfather - My Grandmother (they had 6 children)
Albert Royce Witt & Lucille Eleanor Witt (oh by the way - she passed away in 2016 .... I just barely missed her!)
5 - Her Paternal Grandparents - Her Maternal Grandparents
William & Creta Kelley Witt - Rollie Edward & Tina Dalton West
4 - Michael Witt (Although I found his name spelled Mikel also) and Leander West
3 - Burgess Witt and Jesse & Cecelia West
2 - Burgess Witt and William Preston West
1 - Hezekiah Witt and Thomas West are the 7th generation back.

When I started this journey - I had the opportunity to email my cousin.  We did not know we were first cousins at the time - in fact most things indicated to us that I was a second cousin.  But he shared:

The Witt family can be traced back to within about 60 years of the founding of Jamestown.
Some fought in the American Revolutionary War and the families settled in the Appalachian Mountains.

Those 2 pieces of information were the beginning and everywhere Kerry and I turned on the search landed us in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.  That alone just blew my mind.   I never in my wildest dreams (which have been happening for about 40 years) did I dream that I would be part of a family with such a rich American Frontier history.  I honestly should have paid more attention in all of those history classes.  It would make this research much easier.

I never dreamed of finding such an identified family. I realize that "we" all can end up in Jamestown - but I can get really close to finding the person in Jamestown.  Wow.

Revolutionary War - Civil War (with ancestors that fought on both sides - the brothers against brothers/cousins against cousins is very real in the Witt / West families)

When it became obvious that my ancestors were truly the Witt Family and after every ancestor showed up in the cemeteries in Monroe County Tennessee - I decided the first trip to Tennessee would include walking on that land.

The land where I began.  But the best part of the story....

When I shared my travel itinerary with my birth mother - she emailed the following:

God has led me to see you when you come.  Are you interested in having company on your trip to Tellico Plains and Coker Creek?  

I absolutely could not stop crying.  That was the moment that I realized I will meet my birth mother.  I will see her - 

She will go with us - to the very place that I have been wanting to go.

And so ... 

7 Days of Grace

7 days until I am in Tennessee 

7 Generations

7 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

Let's Drive 55

Do you remember the Drive 55 campaign?  I am not even sure why I do or if it is even real but it seems to be rolling around in my head.

This guy turned 55 last month with one that turned 4!

K5 and K4 at her birthday celebration.

This girl left 55 this month.

Sarah & Cheryl (Sarah left 55 .... I am not quite there yet ...)

Both are 2 of my most favorite people on the planet.

We celebrated K4's birthday in our favorite place.  We have been going to Las Vegas for his birthday since 1998.

Bit ironic to notice this posting in the casinos - we have certainly found our way to the desert for a long time!

For us Vegas is also about family and hanging out with his brother and our sister in law.  We have so much fun and this year certainly did not disappoint.

Isn't this sandwich amazing from Robert Irvine's in Vegas.

Luxor - the first place we stayed!  This year we just left our donation.

Getting ready for dinner at Piero's!!!  The most amazing place - Come to find out we have pretty cool connections because we sat at the Owner's Table!  Seriously Russell made the reservations for us for K4's birthday.  We had a wonderful time and the wine & food were amazing.  It wasn't until the end of the meal that we figured out just how special we were!  

That experience at Piero's was so much fun.  I loved what the Wine Director said to us ...

How did you get in here?

I am thinking she hasn't said that very often.  I suspect that most of the time she knows the guests in the room that is set aside for Las Vegas locals.   

It did not bother me at all that she asked.  I found it absolutely hilarious and so much fun and a story I will simply never forget!!!

I wonder though - are there people that ever feel that way in our churches?  Who all gets the:

How did you get in here? question.

The homeless.

The young.

The democrat.

The republican.

The girl.

The boy.

The gay man.

The gay woman.

The transgender woman.

The transgender man.

The person who looks different than the rest in the crowd.

The wealthy.

The poor.

Do we ever wonder if our Jesus can really be the Jesus for each of them?  I honestly don't think we go that far - because we believe that we are right.  We believe that our set up is THE set up.  We believe that ultimately unless those listed above fit our mold that just maybe they really won't get in here.  And if for some crazy reason they end up in our churches - we can convert them.  We can make sure they are meeting the qualifications for OUR church.

Our preacher challenged us this week to be "Jesus all the time".  

What in the world does it mean to be "Jesus all the time"?????

Sometimes I think we forget.  

Her birthday was so much fun......

Me, Sarah, Janean, & Nancy

Sarah & Nancy live in Dallas - Janean lives in Mississippi.  And you know where I live!  We had the best time having Sarah's birthday dinner in Jacksboro!  Our food was amazing.  Sarah and I have been friends since junior high.  She was my best friend at one point in time and then for about 30 years - I vanished.

I am pretty sure I vanished in part because I quit being Jesus and life gets really - really busy.  I could have felt like I did not fit in her world - and  I am quite sure she wasn't even sure about my world at all.  Not one bit.  Even though we were the best of friends in high school - our worlds were really quite different.

Except we are really quite the same.

Both adopted.

Both loved basketball.

Both love horses (okay Sarah loves horses - I just think they are really pretty and I love the horse races)

Both have lost one parent.

Both have a deep sense of purpose.

Both love.

I am so thankful that Sarah is back in this crazy life of mine.  Or maybe I am thankful to be in Sarah's life.  Never again will I vanish.  Because if I vanish - I am the one that misses out.

We really don't have to have everything in common to love.  We don't have to completely understand the other person to just be Jesus when we are in their presence.  Why do we think we have to agree - or have to believe exactly the same thing to really be friends?  In reality how boring life would be without people who are different than me.  

The challenge is worth accepting.  

At the end of that wonderful 55th birthday trip to Las Vegas - the most amazing event occurred on the plane ride home.  If you follow me on social media you have heard me mention it several times.  

He sat beside us.  Introduced himself.  I realized pretty quickly I had little in common...

He wasn't adopted.

He did not play basketball.

He is a GM at a department store - I hate to shop.

His parents are alive.

He isn't from Texas!

But he does have a deep sense of purpose and he certainly knows how to love.  

He recognized the potential for friends (or hopefully not rude Texans) when he sat by us.  K4 told him about the lake - we talked about other unique places to see in our part of this world.  Then he asked what book I was reading.  After I shared the title ... 

Then he asked - What led up to this?  or maybe he asked How did you get here?

It has certainly been a journey for me and while I know that even the person that I was would have enjoyed meeting and talking to him on a plane years ago; the person today viewed that encounter as a divine intervention.  A moment when I believed that God was working actively in my life - the first question the preacher asked last week.

Do you believe that God is actively working in your life?

Challenge:  Talk (Be) Jesus all the time.

At the end of the journey - me & Erich - the GM from Nordstrom's

More on our 3 hour conversation on My Inhabit Grace Blog.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

Listening & Reading & Learning

This post could be a work in progress - but I wanted to start now or I was going to get lost in my own Podcast - Video world....

There are several churches that I follow - several speakers I enjoy listening to - several authors that I enjoy reading their books....  Of course one of my favorites is our leader at our home church of Eastside Church of Christ - Graham, Texas.  His name is Dorman Holub and Dorman will tell you - he is a teacher first.  His sermons always leave me thinking and pondering and wondering.  Right now he is discussing the difference between a Fan and a Follower - and which one are we choosing to be.  A Fan of Jesus or a Follower of Jesus.  Certainly something to keep me thinking during the week.

Here is my list:  (for now - today January of 2019 - it certainly can change!) Not in order - just as I think of the group!!!

Phileena Heuerte - oh how wonderful she is!  You can also hear a recent sermon from the EastLake podcast (below).  If you value meditation and all things honestly good in our life - Phileena is a welcome to your world.  Her husband Chris - is also a great follow.  His published book "The Sacred Enneagram" is one I am studying right now.

There are 3 Churches that I follow regularly in the Podcast world.  And many times if you like to watch sermons you can find them on Vimeo too.  

Great church out of Austin Texas.  I also have friends that attend this church.  The author - Jen Hatmaker attends and her husband Brandon and Jen also preach occasionally.  I love all of their ministers - such a heart for Jesus and people.  

I do not remember how I found this church but oh how I wish I could visit regularly.  They have this unbelievable love for all.  They are an incredible example of how Jesus taught us.  Through GracePointe - I found John Pavlovitz and I have read his books and loved them!  And I also found Ryan Meeks - who is the pastor of the other church I follow.  Also through GracePointe I met my friend Jennifer Mayeaux who will one day share her culinary skills and serve gumbo at my home in Texas!!  Stan Mitchell regularly shares at GracePointe and his sermons are thought provoking and daily keep me thinking & learning.  GracePointe is a progressive, open community church.  They honestly welcome all people into their family.

EastLake is similar to GracePointe and they often have the same people offer messages.  EastLake is where I got to hear Phileena.  I like what EastLake has done in the past - and is doing right now - they have a certain theme that their sermons are grouped around.  Right now it is "Humanifesto" - pretty interesting take on scriptures and Jesus and how we should live.  EastLake will also welcome all of us into their doors.  

Some individuals that I am following right now - in addition to Phileena are:

"Son of a Preacher Man" - Jonathan Martin

"Red Letter Christainity" - Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo 

Stan Mitchell - often times has sermons at GracePointe & EastLake.  He also has a following on facebook with thoughtful comments on how to live as Jesus called us to live.  

Ryan Meeks - EastLake pastor

Colby Martin - pastor at Sojourn Grace Collective.  I have just recently found this church - I subscribed to their podcast today - looks like I will add it to my list above!!! Colby also writes books - I am currently reading his book "Unclobber".

Tony Caldwell - Tony has sermons on Red Letter Christianity, plus other online venues.

John Pavlovitz - his books are wonderful - especially "A Bigger Table" - so worth the read!

Tripp Fuller - he has a movie .... "The Road to Edmond" - oh my word.  So thankful I watched it!

I love to read - love to listen to podcasts - here are some reading thoughts to conclude ... 

I am sure this blog post will be a work in progress.  Who are listening to and reading with today?  Please share!!!

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

What Will She Think?

We were sitting at the baseball park watching her brother and she runs over and says, "this is my momma, my Uncle Willy, and my Mimi" - as she shows her new friend her family.

My Mimi

Those words might just be some of the best in my life.  Grandparents understand.  There is just something about being someone's.

My grandma lived in a different time.  She was born in 1900 - and she lived almost the entire 1900s - leaving earth in 1995.  She saw a whole bunch of stuff.  But she did wonder why we had one of those in our wedding.

One of our groomsman's is a black man.

My grandmother had taken on the same viewpoint of many white people during those days.  I only wish that "those days" were in the past - but I am not naive - they aren't - 

However - what will she think about me?  Will she be thinking what I have been thinking for a while - and particularly this week.

The "Buried Truths" podcast just honestly breaks my heart.  I wish it was just a fictional story that I am listening to.  Instead it is a brutal truth of what happened in our world in the 1940s, 1950s etc...  It is a horrible account of what happened to a couple of men that chose to vote - a couple of black men who chose to vote and chose to help other black citizens vote.  

Civil Rights. 

I wonder what she will think.  She won't have to worry about her Mimi supporting the ridiculous actions that are described in Buried Truths.  The prejudice behaviors of whites against blacks are easy to deny and speak against.  I honestly hope that my grandmother would have joined me.  

My grandma was a good person - I just hope that it was a lack of education and a lack of understanding - and honestly a lack of reading those red letters in the Bible and truly believing that they apply to EVERYONE.  I hope that is who she was.

But what about me.

What will she say about her Mimi?

Will she say that I was uneducated, not an understanding person, not tolerant, and that I really did not grasp those red letters?

This podcast episode on "Hidden Brain" spurred these thoughts this week.  One quote from the podcast is "... how do you convince people who once slaughtered each other to join hands and make peace? Is it possible to change a person's deepest beliefs?"

I realize we are not "slaughtering" each other in the true sense of the word - but who am I slaughtering with my thoughts - with my lack of understanding - with my less than loving ways spilling out?

I have a new friend.  She is the author of a book I am reading.  

Sara's book "How We Sleep at Night" is her story and one that just grips my heart.  

Fear can make one do some pretty stupid things.  I am convinced that fear makes your brain stop working.  Really.  Seriously.  I grew up in a society that used fear as a method of discipline and honestly for me it worked.

It has never worked for my children and I suspect it won't work for her.  I know that I will have to explain my reasons to her and I best come with an answer of proof rather than "we have always looked at it that way".

So before I stand on the premise that I get to decide who receives God's favor and who doesn't - I better know.  And I better have red letters to support.

I follow a Red Letter Christian's podcast with Tony Campolo and Shane Claiborne.  I found this article today on the website...

Here's the link to the article - Stand .  Mr. Caldwell said exactly what I have been trying to say in this blog.  

I have dear friends, family, people I know who are a part of the LGBTQ community.  

I don't have all the answers - to ANY of our questions.  

I do know that I do not want her to wonder what her Mimi thought.

Her Mimi loves - that is what I want her to think.

One day my mom's earthly body will lay with this stone.  This scripture has defined my mom - she has always sought His help and recognized that her help has always come from the Lord.

My dad always spoke of love.  He began every prayer with the phrase "Father thank you for loving us."

I never talked to my dad about the LGBTQ community.  But there is no doubt in my mind as to how he would respond.  

With love. 

Matthew 22:34-40, NLT

I know this scripture.  However look closely at verse 40 - a verse I forget to quote when I am saying the Love your God part...

Verse 40.  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.  

I am the first to tell you that because "I love you then I feel compelled to share my viewpoint.  I know you need to see it my way.  I am right because I understand what God intended.  I know.  You don't. Blah Blah Blah."

But really - just LOVE.  And sometimes that means Stand and open our arms rather than our mouths.

Why do we make that so hard?

Photo by Mirus Studio

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.