Free Indeed

“I am chosen - not forsaken - I am who you say I am .... Who the Son sets free oh is free indeed”

A couple of weeks ago we had the amazing opportunity to witness 2 baptisms. And one of them left my son embracing his wife. It was one of my most favorite memories ever. 

I gave Daughter One a card that day. Here is my thought on baptism ... “Baptism is something you will always remember - it is one act in this God centered life that helps us think about & be reminded to pattern our lives after Jesus.”

We probably view baptism differently than each other. I am so completely okay with that. But sometimes we get so caught up in our own personal beliefs that we miss Hebrews 12:15.  

I believe that’s our biggest challenge. We are passionate & convicted of our beliefs but we cannot force or expect that for others.  In each of our lives we will hear and respond to God.  But in each response - it is a personal response. I am a child of God because God says I am. 

I’m a child of God because The Divine says I am. 

There’s not a rule book - not a requirement list - not a certain church - certain belief. You may believe that those things are important & necessary. I Love being around you - I love listening to your convictions - I love knowing the story of your life. But I want you to value the same in me. Don’t just love me because you think I agree with you. Love me for whatever I believe as I am doing for you. And yes I know - it’s not easy and both of us will be wrong at times. 

“You’re a child of God - you were chosen not forsaken God is for you not against you”

The lyrics of the song are based on John 8:36. Have you read John 8 lately? Oh my heavens - I feel like I’m reading a back & forth discussion that gets no where. For me I am not questioning Jesus at all - I really am free. 

But that’s the way this life is - messy and back & forth. But Love wins. We know that. I hope for the times when that knowledge of Love & who we are reminds us how to live this God centered life. In the end - we must be sure that no one misses out on grace. 

My friend Neal said to me today “We’re pretty serious about the love stuff” - we all should be - we can all LOVE BETTER. 

Yes we can.

Story behind "Who You Say I Am"

Who You Say I Am Lyrics & Song

Photo One Cred:  Me!  Taken near the Hiwassee River near the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee - the home of my soul.



Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

Construction Phase .....

Daddy,
Thank you for being God's Love.  Thank you for saying with each prayer - "Father thank you for loving us."  You taught me love in so many ways.  But you also taught me who God is.  Knowing that God is Love has proved my literal saving grace forever.  There are so many conversations I want to have with you today about God.  I think I need to hear your opinion.  But if I am honest- I already have - God's Love meant everything to you.  And it is how you treated others - you lived God's Love in all that you did. 


Sometimes we look and we cannot see things the way we might should.

The typical view that I would choose is the picture above.  This is out my front door - the one I go in and out all the time.  I think it is a beautiful picture.  I love the colors - the definitions - just really think it is pretty.

Same skyline - from a different vantage point - this time my side yard.  Typically Kerry feeds our dogs - today I did.  Or  maybe typically when I feed the dogs because I do that (not as much as him) I don't take time to look toward the western sky.  

And this close up view nearly took my breath away.

Same skyline - same home - same.

But yet not at all the same.

There is a God story in these pictures for me.  In the popular religious circles of today there is a word that is being used.  I think it has been around for about 5 - maybe 10 years.  This word of "reconstruction".  The time in life when one looks at what they believe - how they believe and decide to do something different with the knowledge.  

Look at the last bullet point ... an impression, model, or re-enactment of a past event formed from the available evidence.

That is where I am.  And while that definition is so incredibly vague to me - I think I can explain.  I am not sure that this is where others on this journey are - or if they would even agree with my interpretation of the reconstruction definition - but for me this is where I am .... today.

I am finding that while some things seem new - they are in fact really not.  I mentioned to Kerry last night that it almost aggravates me at times because I wonder why it has taken until 54 to figure some of this out.  He reminded me that I have learned a whole bunch of stuff about other areas of life as time has gone - why would this God journey be any different.

He is right.  I have always had somewhat of an impression that I should understand all the God stuff just perfectly - like right now.  That what I knew growing up should be what I know.  If it is God and I have to know God for all the things of life and the after life to fall into place- then surely I understand the God part in its entirety or at least enough to get where I surely want to go.

Good heavens.  Seriously - such a naive approach to life.  

Of course God is not something for me to completely understand and figure out completely today - or yesterday and probably not tomorrow either.  But I can go back to my original viewpoint and see.  I can look to the same spot from a slightly different vantage point - but yet still be in truth and see new.

I was still in my home.  I was still Cheryl looking at the western skyline.  The foundation was the same - I just took a different vantage point.  But the western skyline was still the western skyline.

This is what is happening to me right now.  

My foundation was formed a long time ago.  I suspect it was formed as she carried me from Florida to Tennessee back to Texas before I was born.  Then they carried me throughout Texas and raised me almost exactly how she would have raised me.  I have learned about the birth family and to use an expression of old - they are a "God fearing" family.  The messages I have received about my grandparents - the stories that are told all show their foundation in God's Love.  Her life is also an example of God's Love.  She is still today a living breathing evidence of God's Love.  

The same is true for the couple who raised me - my parents.  Everyday of my life I knew of God's Love.  I felt love - I lived in love.

And so Love is taking me on this journey to examine what I believe to be true about God.  Jesus is guiding the path - I am looking at what I know to be true - the foundation - but I am also looking to God from all kinds of vantage points.  The foundation has not changed.  The views to see him are multiplying. 

That was the message in 1989 - the other side is below and hangs on my kitchen wall today ...

Continue reading I John 4 - it is a wonderful chapter about God's Love.

"Dear friends, if God loved us this way, we ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God.  If we love each other, God remains in us and his love is made perfect in us." 4:11-12, CEB.

Growing up in that wonderful church in Perrin - we used to sing a song ....

There is no fear in love - but a perfect love casteth out all fear.

For fear hath torment and he that feareth is not made perfect in love.

We love him because he first loved us and I will not be silent.

I will praise his name forever - for my God is Love.  

God is Love.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

Damascus Grace

I heard this question today on a podcast ....

Where have you had a Damascus moment this week where Christ showed up either personally or cosmically in a surprising way?

That question was asked by Paul on the "Another Name for Everything" with Richard Rohr.  Paul & Brie ask questions and share thoughts too.  It is quite entertaining - and each weekly episode makes my brain hurt and my heart smile.

But this question ...

I think it is extremely good for us - extremely important to think about our Damascus moments.  To think of the times that our attention was grabbed by the Divine announcing to us - Hey - Look - Watch - Be a part of - all this Christ Love and Glory.

We have been to Tennessee.  We had a Damascus moment the entire time!  It was seeing Christ show up so very personally - so many ways.

The first surprise ....

Beautiful flowers waiting for me at the hotel from my brother & nephew.  What a wonderful surprise - a gesture that welcomed me from the first moment.

Nephew Dylan, Height challenged me, and Brother David

From the very moment that I received the DNA results - I knew that my family settled in the Tennessee mountain area.  The research of the ancestors revealed cemeteries in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains as their final resting spot.  Visiting those cemeteries was the first memory on my to do list.

And - just in case you are wondering - it is pronounced "Ornsburg" 

Then the place where so many are resting ....

My great grandparents - Will & Creta 

Along the way we met family - we saw places - and we walked on the grounds.  We were a part of that earth that has held my family since the 1700s.  A family that I just recently found - a family that has impacted my life since I was born even though I did not know them until now.

And that wonder that I have had since too young to remember - that wonder of do I look like anyone??

The greatest Damascus moment of this journey was meeting her.

More to come ... and a book too.

Inhabiting Grace

I have been to Tennessee

A girl & A mom

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

0 until ..... 7 Days of Grace

7 Days of Grace

Today I’m in Tennessee

Flight delayed. But that’s okay. I’ve waited a lifetime & a few minutes won’t change the wonderful experience this is.

Lets go back to Esther - please read her story or find an audio.

After Mordecai tells Esther that this is probably her time to make a difference. Esther then sends word to him & lays out the plan. She says “even though it’s against the law - I will go to the king.”

Even though the file is sealed. I’ll have it opened.

Even though ...

Part of this journey is realizing my worth. Before my evangelical friends worry about me - I get it. I’m a child of God. I am a beautiful wonderful child of God. But sometimes that seems a bit hard to touch. So for me I identified as their daughter - his wife - their mom - their Mimi. I was a teacher - a principal etc ...

Why do I need to be anything else?

Right after we solved the mystery - I said “what am I thinking - why do I need / want / have any place to identity as a Witt.”  It hurt. Really hurt. I felt unworthy. And it had nothing to do with the actions of my birth mother. It was me. Somewhere in the depths of this soul - I just didn’t know how to feel and what to do with those feelings.

Richard Rohr said:

Sooner or later, if you are on any classic “spiritual schedule,” some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life with which you simply cannot cope using your present skill set, acquired knowledge, or willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point, you will stumble over a necessary “stumbling stone” (see Isaiah 8:14). You must “lose” at something, and then you begin to develop the art of losing. This is the only way that Life/Fate/God/Grace/Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey.

There it is - I didn’t have the skill set but I had been working on strengthening this heart of mine to open completely and just love.

Something in you dies when you bear the unbearable. And it is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees and to love as God loves. —Ram Das 


What a grand adventure I am on. Oh and that Witt family? From the moment that the first one found me - there has been a constant stream of Love - Joy - Welcoming. Each one. Each time. 

Do they - does this new family of mine - realize how much they are loved? Do they know how much Love I have to give? 

They do. They know. She knows. 

She knows. 

I found her. And today - I have found me.

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

1 until .... 7 Days of Grace

I read all the time.  Literally.  I have at least one book that is a hard copy book and then I have at least one I am listening to in the car.  Most all of my books at this point in my life have to do with God - Jesus - and mostly about getting away from "religion" and finding God.

How in the world have I missed The Alchemist?

Needless to say - I am getting a copy of the book.

Tomorrow I will see her.

Seriously - I have waited a lifetime.

I can remember looking through a "picture book" when I was taking piano lessons - studying all the "famous" people and figuring out which one could be my birth mother.  - Raquel Welch.  That was my guess.  

Around age 15 - because I can remember which house I lived in - I found my birth certificate.  I carefully opened it - thinking that I would find names.  Adopted kids in 1964 - have their adopted parents names.  

Kerry tells me that I always thought Dolly Parton could be my mother.  Until a certain surgery in 2002 (I think) - we had physical features quite the same.  Rather ironic that my birth family are from Tennessee ...

There is also Barbra Streisand - If you cover my face to only see my eyes - they are pretty much the same as hers. 

Every single birthday.  Since I can remember I have thought about her on my birthday.  You have heard me lament about my birth - day before.  I won't carry on here - but I found comfort and sadness in knowing that there really was one other person who cared about that day.

When Son One was born I struggled.  Just for a short period of time (really short - who has time to worry about self when you have a newborn?)  That struggle did not last.  I am glad I had it - because at least I feel like I looked at the reality of being adopted and what that meant.  

2006 - I requested the protected adoption file.  I was glad to have some information and as it turned out - that information proved to be exceptionally valuable this year.  But back in 2006 - I was sad all over again.  I loved finding my crib name - Greta.  But the bold  statement of Your record does not include any updated contact by a birthparent was almost devastating.  I felt like she just did not want anything to do with me. (It wasn't that black and white - but I did not know that at the time.)

2006 - 2018 birthdays - primarily- that is when I would think of her the most.  At some point I started writing things on social media - thinking maybe she would be searching and find me.  

In December of 2018 - my cousins - who are both adopted told me about securing a court order to get my original birth certificate.  I started contemplating if that was a good idea. Later that month - my nephew suggested AncestryDNA and told me I would certainly have some connections with some people.  

You know the rest.

The best part of the journey?  I am so thankful that I did not go the route of birth certificate - first.  I have really enjoyed the ancestral route.  I still feel the same excitement knowing that one of my ancestors fought in the American Revolutionary War - knowing I can trace all their names - their children - their birth years and their deaths.  That I can walk on that same ground in the mountains of Tennessee.  A place I have never been - but yet - it is a place that I have been.

Barbra Streisand's recording of "On Holy Ground" is breathtaking.  I have had that CD for 20 years.

Kerry has always been a nature person.  Me - not so much.  But when I started realizing that my ancestral roots can be traced to specific locations in the Tennessee mountains - all I have wanted to do is stand on that ground - literally - stand.  I may even take my shoes off.

Thank you so much for joining me this week.  It has been my joy to write and my joy to hear from you.  I so LOVE people.  Knowing people is literally my hobby in life (oh and reading too!).   

And oh how I love you.  Each and every single one of you.  If I can ever support you in an endeavor - just ask.  You can find me here - find me on Facebook - find me on Instagram.  And should you ever show up on Possum Kingdom Lake - you can find me there too.  

These 3 make all the difference for this Mimi - her great grandchildren.  This was taken at Christmas - that baby is so much bigger now!!!  And that Pop of theirs is the best friend anyone could ever have. 

But for this one ....  this has been her journey.

7 Days of Grace

1 day until I am in Tennessee

1 little girl

1 to Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

2 until .... 7 Days of Grace

Do you know yourself?

I mean truly know yourself?

Perhaps I am getting closer.  I do know that for most of my life - certainly from the age of about 5 until about 40 - I thought I did but I let so many outside things influence my life.  Some for the good but so many helped me deny myself.

It truly is 2 days until I see my birth mother.  That all changed yesterday and it is just fine.  Back to the original plan - arrive Sunday - go to Lynchburg - then to Chattanooga.

2
Two women who have been a part of these 54 years.  Two women who live in different worlds with this one connecting person.  Two women - one I know quite well and the other not so much.  One sewed clothes for me, cooked meals, ran me to sporting events, taught me how to sew, taught me how to cook, provided a way for piano lessons - and you know this list could go on and on.  My mother (DJ) has been and continues to be a monumental force in my life.

Perhaps most importantly is what she and my dad did every single day, every single moment - they taught, showed, gave and experienced Love.

One of my favorite pictures of me & my parents.  This was taken several years ago - but I just love it.  I am sure I don't look any older!!!

I hope she has pictures with her parents.  I hope I see every picture that was ever taken of her when she was growing up - when she was living that life apart from me.  I just cannot wait to see her.

Seeing her does not take away for one moment - anything those 2 did for me.

It comes full circle.

It began in 1933.  That was the year he was born.  And he shouldn't have lived.  He had a surgery every year of his life until he was in his 20s.  He had so many medical issues.  However - most everyone had no idea.  At his memorial service - in the town he lived for 40+ years - the person who spoke said "I had no idea".  My dad kept his health as a private issue.  My dad knew all of his life that he would not be able to have children.

They meet - they marry - they decide to adopt.  His parents weren't so keen on the idea.  I know my grandparents were clueless about adoption but early on they said some hurtful things about that baby. I do believe though that they soon realized that as much as you want to think that baby isn't a part of your family - she is in fact - your family.

In the meantime - there is a birth mother that is making what assuredly was the most difficult decision of her life.  But that decision - allowed that man & woman to have a baby.

Now it is that man & woman who nurtured a baby into this woman who can find that mother.

Full circle.  She loved. They loved. She loved. 

Birth mother loved and she gave.  Adopted parents loved & loved.  Because of love I could go on the journey to find her.

Love matters.  It really does.  So many of our life journeys require love.  Heavens - all of life requires Love.  But true love creates vulnerability.  And that is where most of us lose ground.

There are 2 men in my life that have really helped to encourage this Love of self journey.  Last summer I went to help a friend at his vineyard.  I went 6+ hours from home - alone.  It was one of the craziest things I have ever done by myself. And it was one of the very best.  I came home with a whole new level of courage that I had not had before.  The next was a person I met on a plane.  On that plane ride I had to share stuff that I was thinking.  I had never shared those things before - and when I did - we both ended up in tears.  Again - being vulnerable.  Being open to others - for others - with others.  Those 2 are forever dear friends - they helped me find myself again.

They helped me define Love to myself - once more - this time with confidence and assurance.

While all of my life has led me to this point - the journey had some very specific steps over the last year or so.  Next week when life might slow down just a little - I will share those steps.  I believe that learning about Love on a level never found before is the key to whatever is needed.  Richard Rohr's work has certainly helped me a great deal.  He is worth reading and finding.  And if you are like me you will stay confused most of the time because his language is unreal - but oh so good for the soul.


2 women - oh how thankful I am that they are both on earth today for me to Love in person.

I found her.  I really did.  I found my birth mother.  My mother (DJ) is so happy for all 3 of us!!!

7 Days of Grace

2 days until I am in Tennessee

2 women of Love

2 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

3 until ... 7 Days of Grace

I sure never had any idea where I would be (exactly)  3 weeks after this picture.

It is not the best picture of me - but it is accurate.  The smile - the shirt - the joy!!!

It was 3 weeks ago that the phone rang, I looked at my watch - saw where the number was from and answered the call.

Do you remember that I have a doctorate in education?  That is how I signed my name - Dr. Cheryl Cannon Groves on her card.  I wanted to do that for lots of reasons.  Every single word that I wrote on that card was thought out - planned - shared for specific purposes.  I wanted her to know that I am not some person coming to look for anything.

I am a person looking for her.

During the whole "finding your birth parents" journey - more than one person will ask you why are you doing that.  I have answered that question so many times.  But it is DJ who knows the answer best.  She has told me over and over these last 6 weeks or so - Cheryl - you just always wanted to know.

So why?

Just to know Her.  It has been a missing piece that I simply cannot explain.  I don't know if every adopted kid has this feeling - but I do and I suspect I will - until Day 3 becomes the Day.  (It is important to note that "why" has never been my end game - today "why" only matters if she needs to share - "why" does not matter to me.)

My Mother and My Daughter in Law

My daughter in law is just amazing.  She works 3 days a week with us - and yesterday she helped make a beautiful thing happen.

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I with them."

I lead a ladies bible study class on Wednesday nights at my church.  I have done this off and mostly on for years.  We have the best time - and some come and go, some come and stay, but there are a couple who just really - really "get" me.  One of those - gathered my family together and with my friends from class last night - they all prayed over me.  It was the most amazing experience.

My friend is on the floor saying the most beautiful prayer - Remember how we talked about that vulnerable part yesterday?  This kind of experience is often times vulnerable for me.  Usually I find that I completely lose it and cry and cry (and therefore - not really going to participate in that so much!)

Not last night.  It gave me the best calming feeling - ever.  Total Peace.  My friends are truly gathering in His name to call Him to be in our midst.  To call on Him.  To thank him for my Mother & Father for raising me in such a way that allows me to even embark on this journey.  

Cannon, Me, Kambrey, DJ, Kain

3 of the most precious grandkids and great grandkids of DJ.  My grandchildren bring so much joy to my life and to DJ's.  

I have 3 boys - she now has 3 children.  

That phone call just 3 weeks ago was the beginning of a life time.  I was prepared to never hear from her because let's be honest - this is a whole bunch to process for a person.  She never - just like me - never expected to be able to connect.   But it was important for me to find out some particular information.  I needed to know - does her family cheer for Alabama or Auburn?  Because while it is not a complete deal breaker - we might just have to work on not seeing each other in the fall.

I am almost kidding.  Remember - that Alabama/Auburn thing seems even greater than the Texas/Texas A&M thing.  So it is important.

All good - roll tide!  My new family even have direct connections to the University of Alabama - those connections to be shared in the midst of football season.  But how much fun to finally be able to tell my Texas friends that not only did Son One live in Alabama and learned to love the University.  But my family have always been Alabama fans - and I am too!

What a journey.  What fun.  What a vulnerable Grace.

7 Days of Grace

3 (maybe 2) days until I am in Tennessee

3 weeks ago

3 to Love

My dear friend Stacy - who organized the prayer circle.  What a joy to know her!!!

My shirt for today ...
 "She was powerful not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly despite the fear. ~ Atticus" 

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

4 until .... 7 Days of Grace

4 is where it gets real.  Note:  at times I am going to refer to the mom who raised me as DJ - that is her "grandmother" name - so if I reference DJ - it is for you - so that you can follow .....


A wise woman once told me - don't have pity on me.  And this wise woman is telling you the same.  I don't want or need your pity.  I need you to be vulnerable too.

Over the last year or so I have been on this bizarre spiritual journey.  I won't go into great detail here but I can confidently say that I have grown much in my understanding of God and understanding of who she is.  And if we as believers in God are not willing to share our story - however it may be - then I am just so incredibly sad for the believers of tomorrow.

I am scared to death.  I cried today because I am in that space that wonders if I have absolutely lost my mind.  That is pretty typical of me - I am either high or low.  Very seldom am I in between.

It would not be fair to the next adopted kid who reads this to think I just had all the good positive vibes and that life is just grand.

Let's recap:

Your parents did not love you - they gave you away.  (said to 5 year old Cheryl on the playground in Perrin Texas)

Cheryl - yes you are adopted.  But we chose you.  Over and over for years and years.  And at some point they started telling me I could look for my birth parents if I wanted to.  But that girl - never looked.  She always wondered (my mom - DJ -  confirms that) - I always wondered who my birth mother was.  

This adopted girl looks at every single woman that is of age to be my mother and wonders if I look like her.  Seriously - I even have a set of friends in Graham that I have told them for a long time that I was the daughter that their mother gave up for adoption.  We all sort of looked alike - you know blond hair and short (not really looked alike at all but you know ....)

What is the world - how do you even express what adoption is.  I am not sure there is a way.  Can you imagine all the birth mothers out there?  Let's be honest and let's be Jesus.  I don't care the reasons that you have a child in the adoption world - there is just not a way to say it that doesn't bring tears.  

I never had any feeling but Love for my birth mother.  DJ & my dad taught me that.  Forever - love was how I felt about my birth mom.  And every year at my birthday the realization that she had no clue how I was doing absolutely broke my heart.  Every single birthday.  I just really wanted to have a celebration on another day.  Because quite honestly - my birthday is just sad.  

Is my baby okay?  It is 1964, 1978, 1984, 2003, 2018 - does the year really matter?  At some point the birth mother will wonder about the baby.  And let's be sure we realize and respect - every mother.  We on this side have no idea what circumstances led to the decision to allow a baby to be adopted.  Even the foster care system of today and CPS - there is still a mother in that story that made the choice to give birth.  The choice to give life.

I learned in that required hour counseling session that in 1964 - the counselors pretty much told birth mothers to have the baby and walk away.  Do not hold the baby, do not look at the baby, do not give the baby a name.  Let's think about that for a moment.  I find that cruel.  It is a wonder that any birth mother lives.  

Even though it will be one of the hardest decisions in my life - I will make this choice because it will be better for my baby.  I will give my baby a life better than what I think I can provide right now.  It is because of my love for the baby that I will make this choice.  I feel quite sure EVERY birth mother has said that at one point in time.  And if we choose to think any differently about any of them then we are just being the most un-Jesus person we could ever be. 

Okay - let's go searching and see what we can find.  You know - she is at least 35, 45, 53, 65, 77, 80 - who knows the age of the birth mother when the child goes looking.  Again - does the age matter.  But to the child that was in adoption - it is slightly difficult to picture the aging person.  For us - we might picture the age in which we were given.  For years that was the "excuse" I used - I pictured her at a different age than she was.  I thought since I was picturing her differently - then I did not need to go searching - she would not be what I was picturing and therefore it would just be too different.

What does my baby look like?  Is my baby alive?  Does my baby have my hair color - does the baby have my eyes - does the baby have my hands - my height - my anything.  Does that baby look like me?  How old is the baby - how long has it been?  Can I ever forgive myself? Does the baby know I love her - Does the baby know I love him?

Will they like me?  That is literally a thought I told DJ.  I wondered if my birth family would like me.  When I shared that thought - my mom had already shared enough that I knew she loved me.  But let's remember that this is a huge family.  Huge.  Will this family love me?

For birth mothers - can you even imagine their pain and their confusion - and their wonder.  What if their family doesn't know this adoption story - how does a birth mother share that when a son or daughter comes searching?  Oh heavens again - I cannot imagine how a birth mother even lives through it all?  Oh yes I know - birth mothers are resilient.  They have a special Jesus as their friend that we all need.  

Last Sunday we sang a song that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I of course cried.  "Where No One Stands Alone" - look it up - Elvis even has a version .....

This is our story and I so badly need you to remember me - to hug me (if you live here) - to hug me when you see me (in Tennessee) - but please remember this is so hard.  I just need you to love love love adopted children.  Please remember that even though we are on EVERY level of who we are absolutely value, honor, and cherish our parents and families who raised us .... we just might forever wonder who She is.  

I absolutely never thought I would ever know her.

Each mother  - whoever they are is scared to tell "their" story. They have decided to move on.  Birth mothers have very few - if none  - - "rights" to the baby they carried.  This has to be the most difficult consequence to endure.  I just cannot even imagine.  For every mother who has had a child in the adoption world - consider for a moment what they need.  They need immediate acceptance when they talk to you.  Immediate acceptance for their choice.  Immediate love.  The only thing you can do is just say "I love you".  

She hasn't had this conversation with me.  I am not sure I could endure.  I just cannot imagine how she felt those 54 years.  But remember - do not pity her.  Do not pity each birth mother.  Pity gets us NO WHERE.  Just love.  Every single one of them.  No matter their reason.  LOVE those mothers.  Love the mothers who chose life.  Remember that every single time you want to pass a judgment on them.  

Remember LIFE they chose.  



Kerry says ..... No more Wine tonight - with or without the "h" (whine).

(that is a whole other story.  I did not grow up with parents who drank alcohol and for the longest time I felt like it was a sin.  I evidently missed the whole Jesus and wine story.  But as a 54 year old adult - I am just going to tell you that I drink wine and it and coffee and water and hot tea are my absolute favorite beverages and it is NOT my sin.  So - I now have a precious 4 year old granddaughter and I just cannot stand when children whine. So I have for a while been telling her that the only WINE we like is the WINE without the H.  - She remembers every time - we like our wine without the H.)


4 - she has a family of 4.  You have probably already met her son - my brother on Facebook posts.  What a gracious - sharing - loving person he is.  What a joy to have a brother in Tennessee too!  Oh I might add - a brother who will yell Roll Tide with me!!! (that is another story - but YES they cheer for the Crimson Tide!!!)  And she has 4 brothers - 4 families who have welcomed me in a manner in which I never imagined.

4 - if you go back and read the beginning of grace4greta - I tell you that I have always loved the number 4 - I don't know why - I just have ....

Love us both - 

7 Days of Grace

4 days (actually 3) until I am in Tennessee

4 people in her family (are they ready for the 5th?)

4 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

6 until .... 7 Days of Grace

God created humanity in God’s own image, in the divine image God created them, male and female God created them. God saw everything he had made: it was supremely good.There was evening and there was morning:

the sixth day. (Genesis 1)

So - I hope I can paint this picture for you ....

*I had my DNA results and had a potential first cousin.  Even though JW felt like we were probably 2nd cousins - I quickly learned that ruling out family members was the best place to start.  So if JW thought we were 2nd cousins - then I was going to eliminate his family.  I did not have any ancestral information from JW.  On the Ancestry website members do not have to connect their family and you don't have to reveal.  It is a needle in a haystack.  I had a couple of needles (like I have a double 2nd cousin that I found - that information helped.)

Note:  maybe it is good thing that Clue was one of my favorite games growing up!!!

*I had my redacted adoption file from Hope Cottage.  At this point I knew that the information about my birth parents was detailed and accurate.  In that information I knew the ages of both parents and both sets of grandparents at the time of my birth.

*JW also shared that he is a preacher.  I found his church and started looking to find anything relating to his family.  It was snooping at its finest.  I would like to say I am sorry - but you know really I am not!!!  Eventually I found an obituary of JW's grandmother (Lucille West Witt - see previous post but this is my grandmother).  That obituary was GOLD.

Go read an obituary sometime of someone you don't really know - it is remarkable what you can learn about a person.  Just this morning I listened to a church service and the speaker talked about our stories.  He said that is the way we relate to each other - we have to share our stories.  Sharing our stories is how this humanity fulfills what He called us to do.  Share.  Share.  Share.

The obituary was found late on a Sunday night in February.  I began reading and we wrote down the names of Lucille's children.  We figured out that Lucille & Roy were 12 years apart - their birth years matched with what we felt like they should be based on our information from Hope Cottage.

I was so full of hope - we were thinking we were fixing to find either my mother.

Also in that information from Hope Cottage ....

6

My maternal grandparents had 6 children.

As I am reading that obituary - Survivors are ..... I was fairly certain which one was JW's father.  I started writing names - getting more and more excited.  But wait - there are only 5 children that survived Lucille.

I know tears came to my eyes.  We were so close.  JW must be right - 2nd cousins ...

It was late and I know my shoulders just dropped and I almost closed the computer - put up the marker board to call it an evening.  Then something popped in my head and I read the entire obituary again.

Preceded in death ... there was the 6th child - Lucille was preceded in death by a daughter.

I asked Kerry if he thought it really could be true - did we find my birth mother...  We had all the numbers correct - everyone fit into place.  But really - could I have possibly found her???

Note:  Kerry was willing to bet the gun safe.  I am married to an avid hunter and one that would never bet the gun safe on anything!!!

I cannot believe that Grandmother Witt left earth just a little over 2 years ago.  But that obituary changed my life.  As a mother taking care of her children - she continued even 2 years after she left earth.

Those obituaries and cemeteries tell our stories.  Ones that maybe we have told before but certainly ones for others to find.  One more find in the obituary / cemetery treasures (why this was found is for another day) but ...

March 6th ...

The day Lucille gave birth to her 2nd daughter.  That daughter who gave me life.

She gave birth to 4 boys too along with the daughter who is gone before.

Such a legacy...

7 Days of Grace

6 days until I am in Tennessee

6 children

6 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.

7 Until .... 7 Days of Grace

I have found my birth mother.

Let me say that again.

I have found my birth mother.

I actually figured it out a little over a month ago and the last few weeks we have spent connecting - and she has had to figure out how to maneuver through her family.

Her Family.

Oh my word... And My Family.

When I really began trying to figure out which of my birth parents was connected to the Witt Family - we searched records and records and records on the Ancestry website, the Find a Grave website, and just about anywhere else we could think of.

I got pretty descent at recognizing names, dates, and figuring out how they fit together.

7

I found - seven generations:

7 - My Birth Mother
6 - My Grandfather - My Grandmother (they had 6 children)
Albert Royce Witt & Lucille Eleanor Witt (oh by the way - she passed away in 2016 .... I just barely missed her!)
5 - Her Paternal Grandparents - Her Maternal Grandparents
William & Creta Kelley Witt - Rollie Edward & Tina Dalton West
4 - Michael Witt (Although I found his name spelled Mikel also) and Leander West
3 - Burgess Witt and Jesse & Cecelia West
2 - Burgess Witt and William Preston West
1 - Hezekiah Witt and Thomas West are the 7th generation back.

When I started this journey - I had the opportunity to email my cousin.  We did not know we were first cousins at the time - in fact most things indicated to us that I was a second cousin.  But he shared:

The Witt family can be traced back to within about 60 years of the founding of Jamestown.
Some fought in the American Revolutionary War and the families settled in the Appalachian Mountains.

Those 2 pieces of information were the beginning and everywhere Kerry and I turned on the search landed us in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.  That alone just blew my mind.   I never in my wildest dreams (which have been happening for about 40 years) did I dream that I would be part of a family with such a rich American Frontier history.  I honestly should have paid more attention in all of those history classes.  It would make this research much easier.

I never dreamed of finding such an identified family. I realize that "we" all can end up in Jamestown - but I can get really close to finding the person in Jamestown.  Wow.

Revolutionary War - Civil War (with ancestors that fought on both sides - the brothers against brothers/cousins against cousins is very real in the Witt / West families)

When it became obvious that my ancestors were truly the Witt Family and after every ancestor showed up in the cemeteries in Monroe County Tennessee - I decided the first trip to Tennessee would include walking on that land.

The land where I began.  But the best part of the story....

When I shared my travel itinerary with my birth mother - she emailed the following:

God has led me to see you when you come.  Are you interested in having company on your trip to Tellico Plains and Coker Creek?  

I absolutely could not stop crying.  That was the moment that I realized I will meet my birth mother.  I will see her - 

She will go with us - to the very place that I have been wanting to go.

And so ... 

7 Days of Grace

7 days until I am in Tennessee 

7 Generations

7 to Love

Always, May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14.